Steph was everything everybody has said as well as a warm welcoming 'face' for St Margaret's in the parish office. She was also a friend and strong presence when I really needed one. A 'naturaliter christiana' if ever there was one.

Selfless. It’s the word that always springs to mind when you think about Steph. She always put others before herself whether it was Andy and the boys, friends or anyone who needed her. And there wasn’t even a whiff of the martyr about her, she’d set her own needs aside and make sure you barely noticed. I first met Steph in October, 1987. Our first encounter was not auspicious. I’d only been in London a few weeks and just got my first job in journalism. Being a working class northerner I innately distrusted posh people. And there at the next desk was Steph with her cut glass accent. We later discovered that while I was wary, she thought I was scary. It only took a couple of weeks though as one evening she hesitantly asked me if I fancied a glass of wine. One boozy, confidence-filled evening in the pub was all it took and there followed a fantastic 33-year friendship full of laughter, wonderful food and mutual support. Steph saw how green I was and took me under her wing. London became a far more fabulous place under her guidance. She introduced me to the glory of Gordon’s Wine Bar, the ephemera of Greenwich market and the beauty of simple, well-cooked food. If it wasn’t for Steph I wouldn’t have my love for Le Creuset pans or Radio Four. We had some adventures. House-hunting in Southend and then in Lewisham. I still remember the day we peered over the back garden gate at Bonfield Road, saw a table outside with an empty bottle and two wine glasses and decided on the spot that this was the right place. She also made the effort to visit me wherever I landed. Trailing over to the west coast of Ireland and up to Northumberland without question. She even embarked on a 600 mile round trip to Cumbria for a one night visit to see me and my mother who was dying. My mam appreciated that visit so much and not just because of the armful of freesias that Steph brought. It made her feel special and that was what Steph did best. She made everyone who came into her orbit feel important and cared for. It was a very special talent which she wore lightly. She was an extraordinary woman and an even better friend. I miss her dreadfully and am so glad she was in my life for so long.

I will forever be thankful that Stephy was my friend. I treasure every moment we shared, and the wisdom and joy that springs from Stephany Buckler/Murdock and which enriches my life. High o'er the lonely hills, birdsong the valley fills, mists fold away: grey wakes to green again, beauty is seen again - gold and serene again dawneth the day. Stephy's Christmas message MMXV (Jan Struther) I miss Stephy, despair that she is gone, and send my warmest wishes to Andy and the boys.