Stephy’s mother, Jenny, and my mother, Jessica, met one another at a group called Blackheath Wives where they became good friends. One day, somewhat out of the blue, we, as a family, received an invitation to Stephy’s 21st birthday party which was fancy dress and held at the Buckler residence in Blackheath Park. If any of you can remember anything about the party then you probably weren’t there. As a result of that party my sisters & I became great friends with Stephy and her siblings, which remains the case to this day.
Stephy had many attributes but, being a very private person, many were never displayed.  First and foremost and one that was displayed was her ability to cook fantastic meals often using very meagre equipment and I suppose that the Loxhead, a place she absolutely loved, was a good example. Whilst Stephy was a vegetarian her ability to cook meat to perfection, without being able to taste what she had created, was astonishing.  Truly one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
Over the years Stephy cooked many, many meals for me, my family & friends and my American clients who were also friends.
Stephy’s first big test for me came when I asked her to cook two meals for my 40th birthday party.  For some reason I had asked her to cook paella and this she did on my mother’s Aga with an enormous pan. The evening remains a blur because it took poor Steph until gone 11pm for the food to be produced at the table and many a lesser person would have completely given up trying to finish cooking the dish. Luckily there was enough alcohol to stave off the pangs of hunger and, of course, the end product was cooked to perfection. The meal the following night was cooked on time and again to perfection.
Ten years later I again managed to persuade Stephy to cook for my birthday party, however, this time it was held in the South of France, for many more people, and with a very rudimentary kitchen to boot.  There were no complaints about the food since it was delicious. At that event someone hired a water fountain powered by an electric motor which just re-cycled the water. Some bright spark had the bright idea of substituting the water for white wine so that a glass could be refilled by simply putting the glass under the cascading wine. It did become known as Stephy’s fountain since dry white wine was her favourite tipple.
One event took place after the party and, but for my stupidity, should never have happened. Stephy volunteered (and of course I should have stopped her) to drive the two girls who helped serve the food at the party, to Nice airport.   Apparently the girls managed to persuade Stephy to take them via the motorway. Now, as everyone knows, Stephy hated driving and loathed using motorways, so she decided to return using the coast road. I received a call from Steph, late in the evening, to say that she was lost but knew that she was north of the motorway.  She had, however, read the signpost with the name of the village so I looked at my map and gave her instructions which she could follow on her map.  I was worried sick because hours passed (and I didn’t dare call her for fear of distracting her) and it was gone midnight before she arrived back at the villa, luckily unscathed. She eventually admitted that whilst she did indeed have her map she had forgotten her reading glasses so the instructions I had given her had been totally useless. I eventually teased her that she had just wanted to get into the Guinness book of records for taking the longest time ever recorded to do a return journey to an airport.
In the nineties I used to rent a villa for 3 weeks every June and Steph would come and cook for all and sundry. I never really liked to eat out and why would I when there was such superb food being produced at the villa.  My American friends Jerry and Annie came to stay a couple of times and were astounded (as I think a lot of others were) by the amount stamina Stephy had. She would get up early in the morning to go shopping, spend a large part of the day preparing meals, and party late into the night. Jerry, who was no slouch when it came to drinking and partying, would often refer to her as the Stephanator and she would quietly giggle in that way of hers when he used that nickname in her presence.
Stephy’s piece de resistance came at my 60th where she again produced fabulous food for over 100 guests using a straightforward kitchen not designed to cater for such numbers. Because the dining area was such a long way from the kitchen she managed to devise a system using blankets, towels and newspaper to keep the meat warm enabling those serving the food, including Max and Ruairidh, to run up the steps and deliver food in a perfectly warm state.
In the early 2000’s Stephy came to work for me at my office which was then located at my house. We were all running around like headless chicken and needed someone with a calm demeanour to keep the office running smoothly. In those days there were things like faxes that needed to be sorted and endless Fedex packages coming to and fro, stationery to be ordered and other sundry jobs that Stephy did very smoothly, bringing a bit of calmness to an otherwise chaotic office. She stayed with us until the office moved to Lingfield and it was too far for Stephy to commute there.
Apart from working for me Stephy had, after University, worked for a man called Tim Cooke who owned the Blackheath Gazette. Whilst, in theory, there were two of them producing the paper Stephy was the only one doing work because Tim resided in the Princess (of Wales) (the local pub). He paid Steph incredibly little for the work that she did to such an extent that it was joked that maybe Stephy paid him so that she could work there. (She did love the job).
Another of Stephy’s attributes was her artistic ability and it is somewhat unusual for someone with a great academic ability, having gained a classics degree in ancient Greek at Edinburgh University, to have such artistic flare.  Last year’s Christmas card produced by Andy and the boys clearly demonstrated her talent by reproducing, in miniature, some of the many Christmas cards that she created over the years.
One final attribute that I should mention is that she never had a bad word to say about anyone and there are precious few people in the world who behave in a similar way.
Shaunagh & I were lucky enough to have one last holiday with Stephy, accompanied by Andy & Ruairidh, when we were all went to Chamonix  in January last year (2020).  We had no idea how weak Stephy was until it became apparent that, whilst she could walk on flat ground, she didn’t have enough energy to walk up sloping ground.  The fact that she didn’t pull out of the holiday due to her illness just demonstrated what fortitude she had.
It goes without saying that Stephy was loved by many people, family and friends alike, and is very much missed by everyone.
She will remain in our collective thoughts for years and years to come and may she rest in peace.